Mindful Musing

A critical aspect in mindfulness is the capacity to bring awareness to the present moment experience. However it is not just being aware cognitively of what one is experiencing but what is crucial is the capacity to have an embodied presence. To experience what is happening through one’s body to fully appreciate what is present. Too often we touch into what is happening and then quickly move on to the next hit. That is understandable when we are engaged in conversation or a task. However when there is the time it is important to practice mindfulness by allowing oneself to turn towards the experience with acceptance, openness and engagement.

When one senses a sensation it is important to then sustain the awareness of what is being experienced. As one sustains awareness what quickly becomes apparent is the the sensation will change and become less intense. This is very important in recognizing that strong negative emotions such as anger and fear are not fixed and permanent. One needs to surrender to the sensation without resistance. It is valuable to follow the sensation until it dissolves into stillness.

In following this sequence one is able to live life more fully by bringing each moment alive. There is also the capacity for a meditative observation of the impermanence of experience and critically the sense of self that dissolves and in the next instant comes into life similar but different. This supports non-attachment to the sense of self that is the segue to freedom!

by Dr. Phil Blustein
December 5, 2025

“What makes things so? Making them so makes them so.”

Our minds play a key role in how we see reality. We experience the world through our senses of seeing, hearing, tasting, touching, smelling and thinking. Our minds receive the sensation and initially there is a perception of what is sensed that allows one to identify what is present. We can know that what is experienced is an apple, car, person, sun etc.

Next our beliefs, interpretations and history with what is experienced determine its value. Value is not inherent to the experience. It is what we superimpose on it. I like gala apples. Someone else might like delicious apples. This meaning making impacts how one is in relationship with what is experienced. With resistance of desire or aversion or through equanimity of mindfulness.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
November 21, 2025

Meditation has been around for 4000 years! From the Buddhist perspective meditation reflects the Pali word bhavana that stands for cultivation. Cultivation of what? The present moment. What is the present moment? What you choose it to be!

When one hears the word meditation what instantly comes to mind is someone sitting in an upright position with their eyes closed trying to become awakened. Is meditation just focused awareness and concentration. I view meditation as “Mindfulness with Training Wheels.”

Although one is cultivating awareness what inevitably will arise is a distraction such as a thought, emotion or physical sensation. Our mind will inevitably wander and the critical aspect is what do you do with it. How will one be in relationship with the sensation until one returns to the chosen object of attention. It is easy to say just go back to the breath but it is not that simple. Our thoughts are often one of self-criticism and judgment. We identify with the sense of self that we believe is having the thought and is responsible for what we perceive as happening. We claim ownership for the awareness that knows what is being experienced.

Concentration Meditation involves focused awareness and inevitably insight into what one is experiencing as the mind wanders. Mindfulness at its core consists of these two components of meta-awareness, to know what you know, and insight, discernment into the true nature of reality.

The great value in a formal sitting practice of meditation is that it allows one to practice mindfulness in a controlled setting. We have the time and privacy to practice mindfulness with what our minds are creating without distraction. We are creating the foundation to practice mindfulness in our lived life as it is in real time moment to moment once we get off the cushion.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
November 7, 2025

*SET THE INTENTION
Meditation initially is about enhanced awareness. Before the start of the practice one might state: “May I have applied and sustained awareness of the present moment.”

*SHUT the EYES
One can meditate with eyes open or closed. I would suggest shutting the eyes in order to limit distracting visual stimulation.

*SPINE
One’s body position is critical. An upright but not uptight spine is key. It is as if one is being lifted up from the top of the head. The shoulders fall back and the chest expands. The lower spine tilts forward. The legs are flat on the floor, not crossed. The buttocks are higher than the knees. If one is short one may need a pillow under one’s feet. If one is tall pillows may be necessary under one’s buttocks. One may sit towards the front of the chair. One’s back is away from the back of the chair in order to create effort in maintaining one’s position. The hands can rest on the thighs with palms facing down. The hands can also rest in the lap with the right hand palm up on the lap with the left hand palm up over the right hand. The thumbs touch above the hand.

*SOMATIC SENSATIONS
One then brings attention to the body. One can perform a quick Body Scan starting from the feet and rising up the body to the head. If there is any tension then rest at that spot and breathe into it until it relaxes. Following the scan one can bring attention to the sensations of the feet on the floor or the feel of the buttocks on the chair. One is trying to appreciate the groundedness and stability of the body. It is critical to realize that a still body leads to a still mind.

*SPOT
Next bring attention to where you feel the breath. One can feel this at the tip of the nostrils, chest, abdomen or body. It may be helpful to feel the breath at the tip of the nostrils as it is a very sensitive focal spot to bring one’s attention to. It is important to breathe in through the nose as it allows for greater humidification and purification of the breath and greater lung expansion supporting the relaxation phase. Focusing one’s attention at the tip of the nostrils helps to support breathing in through one’s nose.

*SENSATIONS OF THE BREATH
One is bringing attention to the physical sensations of the movement of the breath. Although we are bringing attention to one object, it is constantly changing. The breath can be soft or rough, quiet or loud, dry or wet, warm or cool, regular or irregular, short or long. Focusing on the unique qualities of the breath helps to support interest and sustained attention.

*SEGMENTS
The breath is not just one cycle. If one examines the breath carefully one will notice that there is an inhalation followed by a short pause. This is followed by a longer exhalation and pause. It will be easier to follow the breath as segments rather than one complete cycle. One can follow the inhalation and pause as one segment followed by the exhalation and pause as another segment. Another way is to bring attention to each of the 4 segments

*STILLNESS
One of the reasons we lose focused awareness of the breath is that when we get to the longer pause segment at the end of exhalation we lose interest. We need to bring intentional attention to the stillness and silence at this longer pause. Stillness is not nothingness. Mindfulness with its focused awareness has an “Observer Effect.” It will change what we are observing and sustain our interest. The end pause will become more prolonged and spacious. This will result in a more activated subsequent inhalation.

*SPONTANEOUS
One is not trying to deliberately control the breath. It is simply allowing for the spontaneous movement of the breath and being moved by that.

*SWITCH
It is impossible to have sustained attention to the breath without physical sensations, thoughts and emotions arising to distract one. Mind wandering with a switch in the object of our attention is inevitable. This is not a failure. Meta-awareness that one has been distracted from the breath is a critical part of meditation. However what is critical is how one is in relationship with the distraction. Mindfulness involves meta-awareness and insight. In understanding the true nature of reality and the sense of self one has the potential of holding all experience without resistance and self-identification.

*SUPPORT
One can support sustained awareness of the breath by labeling the breath “In” with the inhalation and pause followed by “Out” for the subsequent exhalation and pause. Counting can also support our attention. One can count 1 with the first inhalation followed by 2 with the exhalation. The next inhalation is 3 followed by 4 with the exhalation. This is carried on to 10 and then one starts again.

Following the S’s of meditation may help your AIM TO SUSTAIN.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
October 16, 2025

*self
We conventionally operate from the perspective of being the sense of self. We believe we are this constant solid and real entity. This is fraught with constant self-judgment and criticism of our actions and thoughts. We believe we are flawed and inadequate and are constantly employing childhood defensive strategies to feel safe, loved and worthy. Our Western society would have us believe that our goal is to try and develop a stronger sense of self so that we can be happy and have less suffering. We are often caught by and pursue societal goals.

*Not-self
With mindful awareness and insight we begin to appreciate that the sense of self is a temporary ephemeral conditioned construct that arises moment to moment. We have a belief system of who our sense of self is and should act. This is significantly influenced by our core woundings that is based on how we felt as children we needed to be in order to feel safe, loved and worthy in relationship with our parents. Every moment is a self-referential judgment of our actions. Has our sense of self acted in a congruent or incongruent way with our belief system. If not then our inner voice is one of self-criticism and judgment. We develop a personal and unique defensive coping and survival strategy as children to exist. With this awareness of the foundation for the sense of self we slowly can be present with our wounding. Mindfulness holds our fear with acceptance and compassion allowing for its progressive deconstruction. There is a slow integration and healing of our woundings. We recognize that a sense of self is being created moment to moment but are able to be in relationship with it without owning it. We progressively recognize that there is a self that has been constructed but it is not who we are. We are able to dis-identify with the sense of self.

*No self
As we transcend the conditioned nature of self we spontaneously enter into a space of mindful presence. As there is no sense of self to protect we are able to experience the interconnectedness and interdependence of all existence. We rest in a mindful awareness that manifests innate compassion and wisdom.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
October 3, 2025

You can dramatically extend life – not by multiplying the number of your years

But by expanding the fullness of your moments

by Shinzen Young
The Science of Enlightenment

It is through our meditation that there is the capacity to observe the selfing process and make valuable insights into the true nature of self.

When the sense of self arises ask yourself: “Was there the same sense of self that existed before my awareness of the present moment self?”

Next, if one deliberately follows what happens to the sense of self one will observe that it will inevitably come to an end and extinguish. Impermanence!

What happens next? A new sense of self will arise. The question is: “Is the new sense of self the same or different than what already existed?”

These questions will reveal that although a new sense of self arises that may be similar, it is always somewhat different than what existed before.

It clearly points out how the self becomes newly created and extinguishes moment to moment to be replaced by a different form of the self. It brings insight to the selfing process through an experiential observation of the fabricated and impermanent nature of self.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
September 5, 2025

“There are only two tragedies in life.
One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.”
– Oscar Wilde

This speaks to the Buddhist understanding that preferences and clinging to them lead to our suffering. We are always in relationship with experience either through desire or aversion. We want something we don’t have or want to keep what we have. We don’t want something we have or don’t want something that we don’t have. Either way this resistance with the way things are will cause dissatisfaction. The ultimate segue to freedom is the capacity to be present with equanimity with what we experience. To be present with a balanced perspective no matter what we encounter.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
August 25, 2025

Freedom is not believing what I think you think about me

Freedom is not believing what I think about me

by Dr. Phil Blustein
June 6, 2025

We create our suffering by interpreting every moment
From what we believe we need to be
Rather than allowing one to selflessly be

by Dr. Phil Blustein
May 16, 2025

self is Just One’s Way to
Cope with the FEAR of being Human

by Dr. Phil Blustein
May 2, 2025

Each moment is an opportunity to experience who you believe you are
And an opening to discover who you really are

by Dr. Phil Blustein
April 18, 2025

We create a sense of self moment to moment as a defensive reactive action to meet unmet psychological needs in order to feel safe, loved and worthy. Typically we rest in identification with the sense of self. Self appropriates awareness and not only are we the object that is known, self, but the subject that knows what is known, self.

As we begin to learn about mindfulness and develop intentional discernment into this process of selfing there is a progressive deconstruction and disentanglement with the sense of self. This discernment can be supported by a repetitive reflective practice that explores how inner child wounding is the basis for self formation.

As there is a progression from our basic functioning mind to a more discerning one that is able to see the true nature of the sense of self, the belief in self weakens and there is a reciprocal strengthening of mindful awareness independent of identification with self. As we let go of the sense of the self there is a natural default into selfless awarenessing.

Conventional awareness does not have the discerning qualities to it that allows it to examine self and see its true nature. This is an awareness that immediately leads into selfing.

This shift in focus rests primarily in the deconstruction of the sense of self rather than a primary strengthening of awareness. Mindful discernment leading to non-identification with the sense of self is the intermediary that allows for the movement from selfing to awarenessing.

There is a dynamic dance between selfing and awarenessing dependent on the strength of the self story in the moment. This is a seesaw effect. Specifically, as the selfing increases, knowing decreases. As selfing decreases knowing can increase.

The sense of self as the object shifts from the belief that it is true and enduring to a hybrid understanding of it being real and its conditioned created nature to ultimately knowing it is just an illusion. Awarenessing as the subject shifts from being co-opted by self to a hybrid understanding of self-appropriated awareness and awarenessing to ultimately resting in non-self-referential mindful awareness.

This relationship is like a rubber band. Its tension will be dependent on the respective strengths of these opposing forces pulling the band. Through its action mindfulness is converting self from Velcro to Teflon.

Moment to moment there may be an oscillation between self and mindful awareness. Where we land on this continuum is constantly shifting. There is a progressive shift from a self oriented existence to resting in the witnessing perspective of unconditioned presence. With progressive practice the insight into the fabricated illusory nature of self is spontaneous and we automatically rest in awarenessing.

Ultimately in mindful awareness there is just non-identification with the sense of self that leads to selfless knowing of experience. The sense of self that is having the experience and the sense of self that is witnessing what is happening dissolves. Just like the transition from ego to the discerning mind to no self there is movement from self-appropriated awareness to discerning awareness to non-self-referential mindful awareness. Trust the intuitive wisdom and compassion of awarenessing to act skillfully.

One can approach resting in awarenessing in two ways. The object oriented approach is focused on seeing the illusory nature of self in order to let go and dis-identify and open into awarenessing. The subject oriented focus is to learn how to primarily anchor in awarenessing and be the knowing quality of mind. The more direct and probably easier approach is to start with deconstructing and disentangling from one’s sense of self. The only concern in approaching experience directly and primarily from awarenessing is that there may be spiritual bypassing of one’s fundamental inner child wounding.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
April 4, 2025

Is having a sense of self a bad thing? Can it exist? I am here typing and it seems that there is an entity that is doing that, that is me! When people talk about no self or not self in contemplative practice it can be confusing and may immediatey create resistance and fear as it implies a denial of existence. Who would I be without my sense of self? I am the self that I believe is me.

The core problem is that if we identify with our conventional understanding of the sense of self we will inevitably suffer! Our sense of self that is created is based on compensating for the deficiencies of our inner child. We are owning a self that is inherently flawed. We are acting to defend our sense of self that is viewed as being inadequate in every moment. One can see that the present moment self is a product of a constant flow of psychophysical processing and is not a permanent enduring structure. Therefore it makes no sense to be what is a continual temporary, different and ephemeral creation. The conventional self does serve a useful utilitarian function of being a symbolic representation for this human presence who we believe we are. Is the belief system that self is based on true and accurate? Is the interpretation of the present moment action of self true and accurate? Don’t forget the belief system of who we believe our sense of self is, was formed when we were very young and our perceptions were based on just trying to feel safe, loved and worthy. The way we see the world as adults is vastly different that when we were children. Presently we have knowledge, wisdom, experience, discernment and power.

I would like to suggest an alternate way to view a sense of self from our conventional understanding of it being an interpretation of self-referential judgment that has no enduring qualities. We come into this world with a unique personal DNA code that determines our physicality, certain mental functions and predispositions that shape our personality. We all have a basic biologic drive for survival and procreation. Superimposed on this innate basis is our childhood conditioning and other traumas that are unique to who we are. The traumatic events that happened to us were real. Our understanding of them not so. They were based on arbitrary, inaccurate, incomplete and everchanging misperceived interpretations.

We come into this world as humans with this wonderful capacity to be sentient beings. To see, hear, taste, touch and smell. The capacity to think, create and discern. The ability to feel our emotions. The capacity to inhabit these bodies and experience life through the direct felt sense of our physical sensations. There is nothing incomplete and imperfect about this. Just a wonderful potential of expression of our humaness. We come into this world with a unique gift that lives through us such as an artistic, dramatic, athletic, scholary or caregiver passion. There is no question that our DNA code is modifiable and changes as well as our physicality, mental and emotional functioning over time. However, I believe these elements can claim to have a certain degree of constancy and connection to them. It may not completely fulfill the Buddhist understanding of impermanence but it serves a valuable function to allow ourselves to get around the notion of not having a self. We can claim to have an underlying core that is unique and not constructed moment to moment. Just because you keep painting your house does not change the fact that the house still remains intact and the same underneathe. Just because you put on a different coat of identity does not change what is present underneathe. I see it like a ball of wool that slowly unravels. There is a connection between each new thread of wool that is unique but it all arises from the same common origin. There is a progressive linkage that unites everything.

Contemplative practice would say that we believe we are the sense of self that is created moment to moment from causes and conditions coming together. That it is a fabricated construction with no inherent essence. That is true but what creates the fabrication is separate and has a different truth than the self that is created. Can we shift what we believe our sense of self is? Can we see ourselves as this human presence that is a manifestation of all these unique and wonderful characteristics described above. That we are this self that is our human presence that has the capacity to be in relationship with the present moment based on our unique potentiality, not our constructed conditioned interpretation.

self as the creator of what we manifest, not what is the product of the creation

self as the underlying process of what manifests, not what is processed

This is the sense of self that we are at our core, not our constructed conditioned nature. These are constant human capacities that allow us to be in relationship with experience, not what results from the interaction.

Although a sense of self is created that is conditioned let us not forget that the intentionality of whatever our minds create is skillful. It is an attempt to protect our human being and keep us safe, loved and worthy. The self may be a conflicted and troublesome creation but its purpose is intended to be skillful.

The problem is not that there is a sense of self but what it represents. Can we change our perspective of self and see it as innately complete, whole and integrated as it can be in the moment, not flawed and inadequate? Ultimately one can be present in each moment without worrying about having to defend the sense of self. This allows one to act in a skillful way that recognizes the interdependence and interconnection with all existence. Wouldn’t it be liberating if we could live our life from this base of an integrated stable presence rather than our moment to moment fluctuating interpreted sense of self? To observe each moment, not how it defines who we believe we are, but how it reflects how we are in a skillful relationship with each moment. Can I see self as this physicality, cognitive and emotional complete presence and the potentiality to process and the processing of experience moment to moment, not what is processed.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
March 21, 2025

The contemporary understanding of mindfulness is reflected in Jon Kabat-Zinn’s definition:

Paying attention, in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, nonjudgmentally

Being non-judgmental is important but it is only one step in a broader practice that involves several key components. I believe that using the word non-judgmental as a key part of the definition misdirects and confuses people along the path. The emphasis needs to be redirected. Mindfulness is not a non-reactive and non-judgmental position but involves an open and receptive presence with discernment into the true nature of self in order to be present in a wholesome way.

The word non-judgmental refers to a state. This is the way I will be with experience. I believe mindfulness is a MULTIFACETED PROCESS of how one is in relationship with what is known and responds to it. The overarching map of mindfulness involves the three components of awareness, relationship and action.

I would like to offer my definition for mindfulness.

META-AWARENESS
ENGAGED EMBODIMENT
DISCERNMENT OF SELF-REFERENTIAL JUDGMENT
NON-ATTACHMENT WITH SELF
SKILLFUL ACTION

*AWARENESS

The original explanation of sati was to bring a sustained awareness to what is present in order to examine and learn from it. In holding what is present this allows for the possibility of discernment to understand how the present moment experience and self has come into existence. 

One constantly hears that modern mindfulness is to:

Know what one’s experience is in the present moment

To know means to be aware of one’s experience. This definitely is part of the definition of mindfulness. There is no question that awareness is an essential first step to mindfulness. If we don’t know what is happening how can we know what to do with it. The problem is that too often we are lost in thought and don’t know what we know. There needs to be meta-awareness or knowing what one knows.

Furthermore, the understanding of awareness in mindfulness is that there is a sustained knowing of what is known. As Andrew Olendzki explains in Tricycle Magazine Fall 2014 The Mindfulness Wedge:

“The ability to hold awareness upon a chosen object with some stability or to return it to a primary object once it has strayed, and to do so without agitation, self-blame, or frustration, is a useful skill to learn.“

Bear in mind if you are aware of your sadness, guilt, shame and anger you may actually be MORE sad, guilty, shameful and angry. You are suddenly aware of what you are feeling while previously you were lost in the emotion and did not know what you knew. The problem is that modern definitions that limit mindfulness to enhanced attention does not do justice to what it really is. It is not just the: “Joy of Being in the Now.” What are we aware of? The initial sensation, the meaning making and one’s relationship with what is present or the action that follows?

*RELATIONSHIP

Mindfulness is not just about awareness! It is about developing a wholesome relationship with the present moment.

The initial aspect is RECEPTIVITY. Non-judgment has an implied quality of containment and separation. Mindfulness is an invitation, opening, allowing and intimately experiencing what is present without resistance. One begins to befriend the mind! This is not about inhibiting one’s normal reaction of judgment. If judgment occurs then it is just part of what one is intimately experiencing. This is achieved by directly feeling what is known through the body. Mindfulness is not just about the thinking mind but also importantly involves processing one’s experience through the body to feel one’s way through suffering.

Mindfulness is not only about being in the now

But being ok with whatever is now

Mindfulness is also about DISCERNMENT, not non-judgment. Judgment is a critical evaluation of what is present influenced by personal bias and the need to be better than someone else. Discernment is a clear seeing into how our sense of self and present moment reality comes into existence through self-referential judgment. It is an insight practice that brings clarity to the moment, not a judging process.This allows one to be with what is as it is not what we make, want, believe or need it to be. This insight allows for non-identification with the sense of self that is critical for not suffering.

Can you be one with it

Not the one that is it

*ACTION

It is through non-identification with the sense of self one is able to be open to the interconnectedness and interdependence with other allowing one to act skillfully. There is no reified sense of self to defend. Mindfulness is always associated with wholesome action.

One can see that being non-judgmental is in fact not an important component of mindfulness. It is not about what one does not do, not judge, but what one does do, awareness, embodiment, discernment and skillful action.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
March 7, 2025

Historic mindfulness was much more than the contemporary understanding of mindfulness as awareness and being non-judgmental.

There was a REFRAIN after each of the mindfulness practices that indicated one contemplates the body (feelings, mind and dhammas):

* Contemplating experience both INTERNALLY and EXTERNALLY. One contemplates one’s own and then another’s experience.
* Observing the IMPERMANENCE of existence.
* Consciousness of what is present to the extent needed for BARE KNOWLEDGE with SUSTAINED MINDFULNESS such that one is aware of what is present as it is without mental proliferation and selfing.
* ABIDE INDEPENDENT or with NO CLINGING to anything.

Significantly the refrain is pointing to understanding the impermanence of experience and the importance of non-clinging as the segue to freedom.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
February 21, 2025

The Buddha described right or appropriate mindfulness. It consisted of the following qualities:

“And what, monks, is right mindfulness? Here, a monk dwells contemplating the body in the body, ardent, clearly comprehending, mindful, having removed covetousness and displeasure in regard to the world. He dwells contemplating feelings in feelings . . . contemplating mind in mind . . . contemplating phenomena in phenomena, ardent, clearly comprehending, mindful, having removed covetousness and displeasure in regard to the world. This is called right mindfulness.”

One dwells contemplating body in the body, feelings in feelings, mind in mind and phenomena in phenomena. One brings awareness to and experiences sensations as a sensation without selfing.

One is ardent or committed, passionate, curious and energized in the process.

What is critical is the element of clearly comprehending or clearly seeing that addresses the understanding of the essence of existence. Impermanence, dissatisfaction and not-self. The sense of self is an impermanent structure that is fabricated.

There is an initial sustained observation of the designated sense object in order to allow one to bring to mind the teachings of the Buddha. It allowed for discernment. Is what is present skillful or not and how does one respond in a skillful way? In understanding the impermanent nature of self there is no identification with it.

Mindful or the ability to have sustained awareness of the present moment to allow one to examine and learn from the present moment.

One wants to act to remove covetousness and displeasure ie. inhibit clinging. To eliminate the preferences of desire and aversion that is the segue to awakening.

Mindfulness is a lot more than awareness and being non-judgmental. Following awareness what is cultivated is a skillful relationship with the present moment and subsequent wholesome action guided by the discernment and resultant insight that reality and the sense of self are conditioned constructs that are fabricated. With this understanding there is no need to identify with the sense of self. One can move beyond the limiting constraints of one’s personal narrative that defines one’s sense of self and be present from mindful presence that is a spaciousness of innate compassion and wisdom.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
February 7, 2025

The contemporary definition of mindfulness is: Awareness of the present moment, on purpose, in a particular way, non-judgmentally.

The word non-judgmental that is a dominant part of the definition refers to a state. This is the way I will be with experience. I believe mindfulness is a MULTIFACETED PROCESS of how one is present with what is known and responds to it.

The overarching map of mindfulness involves three components.

* AWARENESS: Awareness of what is present.
* RELATIONSHIP: How to develop a wholesome relationship with the present moment by directly experiencing what is known without resistance through insight into selfing.
* ACTION: How to act skillfully through non-identification with the sense of self.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
January 16, 2025

Microdosing of the breath can be an effective tool to increase awareness and decrease background mental and somatic hyperarousal, mind wandering and reactivity to what is known.

As often as you can, bring intentional awareness to the breath and follow it as long and sustained as you can. The breath is important in supporting the relaxation response of the autonomic nervous system.

One can “microdose breathing” by remembering to intentionally breathe with a prolonged exhalation relative to the inhalation and slow breathing with 4 to 6 breaths a minute as often as you can remember throughout the day.

This form of breathing can be in the background as one performs another activity such as walking, eating, reading, waiting in line, driving etc. It can also be a standalone practice in the moment when one does not need to actively engage with other or in a task.

One can use cues such as post-it-notes, apps or timers on your phone or physical links such as before you eat, walk, go to the bathroom, answer your phone or before posting an email to remind oneself to bring awareness to the breath.

These short bursts of controlled breathing are a great way to support a greater predisposition to be in a resting state of a stabilized nervous system and a decreased tendency for emotional and cognitive hyperarousal and reactivity.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
January 3, 2025

I strive for the meaning of life and live with this existential need to know. I believe it may reflect relationships, play and a sense of purpose. But do these elements just mean having a meaningful life?

Could it be experiencing the non-self-referential conditioned nature of existence?

Why do I need to know? If I have an answer I have a feeling that this will bring some certainty to my existence. Knowing will give me some comfort as there is safety. I have a path. I know what I need to do. I know what to expect. I believe I know who I am.

However, what if there is no answer to this big question. Maybe this is something that I can’t comprehend at this moment. I have not evolved enough. It is bigger than I can understand.

Maybe the path is to keep asking the questions and allow discoveries to reveal themselves rather than thinking I can think my way to the answer.

Perhaps it is not having to cognitively know what each moment is about but experientiality living it.

Perhaps I need patience to allow experience to be the way it is meant to be rather than the way I need it to be.

Perhaps it is just being open to whatever arises.

Perhaps it is recognizing that we don’t have control over what happens.

Perhaps the only thing I can be sure of is the certainty of uncertainty.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
December 6, 2024

I said something to a friend that I felt was inappropriate. I instantly began to criticize and judge myself. To what end. The reality is what has happened, has happened. It cannot be changed. It is what it is.

The truth is that most of what happens occurs from a subconscious automatic and autonomous drive by our minds to keep our inner child safe, loved and worthy. We may interpret what we did as not being appropriate but from a PERSONAL perspective all our thoughts, speech and actions have a skillful intention. For the most part we are not aware of what we are going to do before we do it! Free will is a myth. Conventionally we can only be aware of what has happened after it has happened. Unless we develop mindfulness there is no awareness of the intentionality of our actions before we act.

In the end, all one can do is be responsible for what one does with what one knows. If I have acted inappropriately with my friend and am aware of it only then can I take ownership and act accordingly. Also, what can I learn from what has happened that will help me going forward? I need to reflect on the intentionality of my speech before I speak.

This is not a free get out of jail card. It is simply explaining the underlying process for our speech and actions. Hopefully it will allow one to let go of self-blame and judgment and do what is just skillfully needed.

Don’t beat yourself up for what you did but just take responsibility for how you will skillfully respond to what has happened! Be kind to yourself. The essence of mindfulness is not so much what is present but how are you in relationship with it.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
November 22, 2024

I made a comment the other day to a friend and I felt it was inappropriate. My mind was upset and immediately judged me at the time. It said: “How could I have said that? It was so mean. I am such a bad friend. This is terrible. I am terrible!” In the moment all I was aware of was the self-criticism and not what actually happened. The next day all of a sudden my mind is saying: “This is terrible. How could I have done that.” My mind was reliving the previous experience. However, there was no context for what my mind was saying. There was no recollection of my previous initial conversation with my friend, just the judgment of what I had done.

This is the common way in which we operate. We forget what the initiating event was that led to the judgment. We are predominantly aware of the resistance, approach or avoidance, to the judgment of what has happened rather than what incited the reaction.

Is it possible to bring awareness to what started the process and is this of value? Yes. We have the capacity to develop interest, curiosity and resolve to specifically look for what was the starting experience. One can train the mind to slow down, search and identify the initial stimulus to the judgment. With practice and over time this starts to begin a more automatic response.

At the point one becomes aware of the self-criticism immediately stop and look to see if one can identify what the mind was initially thinking about that triggered the reaction. In identifying the original stimulus and seeing what we create with it we are able to clearly see the process of how we create our reality and sense of self. This helps support non-identification.

It is much easier to be in relationship with the original experience that is neutral in itself prior to the meaning making and selfing. Stepping back to the contact point creates a pause, inhibits mental proliferation and allows a space for intentional focusing on the underlying belief system of our sense of self, that is the basis for self-referential judgment and selfing.

As we know our mind is a meaning making machine. If we can identify the original event before meaning making we have the capacity to rest in that moment and change our reaction to it!

It is important to return to the original point of contact. It is important to look backwards in order to move forwards.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
November 8, 2024

When we face what we believe is a stressful situation our normal reaction is to deny, minimize or run from what is present. Who wants to get closer to the fire? It seems contradictory but mindfulness asks one to approach and become more intimate with what troubles you. How does this work? If we are always running away from what scares us we never get to truly know what it is. Perhaps our fears are like the Wizard of Oz who was just a frightened old man. We make our fears larger than they are. They are often a misrepresentation of what really is there. If we are able to approach what bothers us we have the possibility of discovering the truth. We create the courage to be present. We can provide reassurance and comfort to our inner woundedness so that it feels supported and not alone.

One way to hold our fear is through our bodies. Our thoughts, emotions and body are intimately connected. What is expressed in one is expressed in the other. When we are anxious it can be very helpful to bring one’s attention to the body and just feel what is being expressed. It is a great way to get out of our judging and ruminating mind. It is important to stay with the sensation until it ends. We need to allow the trapped somatic energy to move through us, be metabolized and released. One needs to trust that our bodies know what to do.

The other way to hold our stress is cognitively. Our minds have a personal characteristic way of criticizing us. It could be: “I am so bad. I am terrible. I keep making mistakes.” If one can just allow the same judgmental phrase to be spontaneously and autonomously repeated it will slowly dissipate and extinguish. Another form of release and letting go.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
October 18, 2024

Playing pickleball is a great way to understand the conventional way we function and the path to mindfulness. When you play pickleball there are hard and unexpected shots coming at you. There is a lot fear of being hit and hurt. One is impulsive and reactive. One is in a defensive position. The ball seems to be moving so fast. One can’t keep one’s eye on what is happening, the ball. One is reaching out to hit the ball before it has even arrived. One feels contracted and tight and this is reflected in one’s shots. The goal initially is to just get the ball over the net as long as it stays in. There is no plan or clarity for strategic play.

As one’s play improves there is a shift in the game. One becomes more relaxed and responsive. One waits for the ball to come to you before striking. The game seems to slow down and there is a greater opportunity to be present with ease and clarity in knowing how one is going to consciously and strategically respond.

This progression is just like how one operates in the world. We initially react subconsciously with a desire to defend ourselves. Often our reactions are impulsive and hurtful. With time as one develops insight and compassion there is a shift. One becomes more relaxed with less impulsivity. One is able to consciously and skillfully respond from a place of openness, acceptance, wisdom and clarity.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
October 3, 2024

REFRAME IT TO TAME IT

Another way to tamp down the instantaneous autonomous reaction to what one encounters is to reframe it to tame it.

Bring to mind a previous negative thought and the reaction you had and relive it from the place of stability and responsiveness in this moment. For example, I had made plans with a friend to get together and they did not call me back. What quickly unfolded was a judgement that my friend was uncaring and disinterested in me. Perhaps I wasn’t good enough to have this person as my friend. I felt angry and hurt.

The initial thought was just the beginning of the boulder rolling down the hill. It just needed a slight push and then momentum carried it on. This is the way our minds work. What we initially observe morphs quickly into self-referential judgment.

However, in this controlled setting I can approach my mind differently. Initially identify the presenting event just as an OBSERVATION, without any interpretation or meaning making. My friend did not call me.

Then name the subsequent self-referential judgment. Identify the story your mind makes up. My friend did not call me and I feel unlovable.

Finally, inquire what would a skillful response be to the initial observation without it being referenced to your sense of self. Ask yourself: “What needs to be done if it isn’t about me?” I need to call my friend and find out what happened.

What is important to realize is that unless I inquire directly and truly know the facts of what happened my judgment and meaning making is make believe. There can be multiple reasons my friend did not call independent of what it means about me.

One is trying to build a different reflexive response to the normal conditioned functioning of the mind. To create a shift from judgment to observation. To create a shift from judgment to the insight that the reaction is me just feeling not loved as a result of triggering of a historic inner child wounding. The other critical aspect is the recognition that the self is a conditioned created construct. To identify with it will lead to suffering.

To counter the reactivity with responsiveness. To not even create a problem in the first place.

The other approach is to take what has just happened in the last moment in terms of a thought or interaction with someone and immediately replay it in this constructive light before there is a chance for one’s mind to react. These similar self-critical thoughts in response to experiences for whatever reason will predictably play out repetitively throughout the day. Consider that we have approximately 60000 thoughts a day and 90% are repetitive! Our minds are on a constant loop of playing the same story. If your mind has criticized you over something you did today rest assured it will do it again, and again and again.

In the above example, where my friend did not call me, even before my mind has had a chance to create a story and self-judge I play out the scenario of one’s possible probable potential self-referential reaction, then just the observation of my friend’s behaviour and finally the non-self-referential skillful response to what was observed.

As one repeatedly replays proactively or reactively one’s experiences there can be a retraining of the mind so that there is a spontaneous shift from conventional self-referential judgment to a new skillful response.

To summarize the three components are:

* Observation
* Identify the Self-referential judgment
* Explore a Skillful non-self-referential response

by Dr. Phil Blustein
September 20, 2024

BREATH PRACTICE

Focused Breath Meditation

One of the most effective practices that can support anticipatory mindfulness is a Focused Breath Meditation Practice. This meditation practice physiologically influences the function and structure of our brain.

With meditation there is a decrease in the Default Mode Network. This results in less selfing, mind wandering and rumination. It also allows for a greater perspective of experience than the I centered approach.

There is an increase in the Frontal Parietal Network that is responsible for emotional regulation, flexibility and adaptability through greater possibility of shifting between the various brain networks.

Meditation leads to a decrease in function of the amygdala resulting in less fear messaging. The Frontal Parietal Network also inhibits the amygdala.

There is a decrease in age related cortical atrophy.

These structural and functional connectivity changes results in less emotional reactivity, greater resilience or recovery from dysregulation, improved equanimity, greater awareness but less identification and a path to transcendence of self.

A meditation practice is a wonderful support for anticipatory mindfulness as our mind is less likely to create selfing related triggering events. One is also better prepared to responsively meet with greater stability whatever presents itself.

One might experience an immediate feeling of a shift in one’s functioning mind when one meditates. However, the more critical aspect is the enduring changes that can occur when you get off the cushion or chair.

A formal focused breath awareness meditation practice needs to become a practice that is performed as consistently that you can. Ideally this means on a daily basis.

Microdosing of Breathing

The breath is important in supporting the relaxation response of the autonomic nervous system.

One can “microdose breathing” by remembering to intentionally breathe with a prolonged exhalation relative to the inhalation and slow breathing with 4 to 6 breaths a minute as often as you can remember throughout the day.

This form of breathing can be in the background as one performs another activity such as walking, eating, reading, waiting in line, driving etc.

It can also be a standalone practice in the moment when one does not need to actively engage with other or in a task.

These short bursts of controlled breathing are a great way to support a greater predisposition to be in a background state of a stabilized nervous system and a decreased tendency for emotional reactivity.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
September 6, 2024

RESTING IN AWARENESS

Awareness of the present moment has an interesting impact on what is happening. It is called the OBSERVER EFFECT or the HAWTHORNE EFFECT. When an individual knows they are being watched this may change their behavior. In my own experience when I observe my thinking mind this inhibits the subsequent thinking process in response to what is known. I am suggesting a practice that is not about bringing awareness to what is known but awareness of what the mind will potentially do with what is known.

We are walking in nature, seeing a cloud, smelling a flower, tasting a dessert, hearing a bird. Before our mind has created meaning making step back and bring awareness to look for what our minds will potentially create. Does anything arise? If it does arise is the reaction muted? One can also do this with one’s thoughts. If one becomes aware of an internal thought or emotion quickly bring awareness to what will arise in the next moment. Hopefully one’s awareness will inhibit the mind’s autonomous spontaneous meaning making. It is like you are a cat waiting at the hole in the wall for the mouse to appear. Just waiting and observing.

You need to practice, anticipate and prime yourself to instantly step into awareness of what the mind will do with what is known at the contact point. By focusing our mind on the action, this inhibits the subsequent judgment and selfing. Our mind has been given a task that allows for focusing and inhibiting of meaning making.

This can be supported by asking this question on contact with an internal or external sensation:

What Next

What is going to arise next?
We have the capacity to alter what our response will be through ANTICIPATORY MINDFULNESS.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
August 22, 2024

PRESENCE WITHOUT SELF

There is a very dominant use of the pronoun I in Western language. It suggests that this is our identity and agent of our actions. Interestingly in Japan there is little use of the pronoun I. Language in Japan is very context-dependent. If the situation infers that the self is acting then there is no need for the word I. Japan is much more a collective rather than an individualistic society. The group is more important than the self. Hence, less use of the word I. If they can do it, there is no reason why we in the West can do without the I in conversation.

What would it be like for us to avoid using the word I as a supportive strategy to non-attach with the sense of self. Language is very important in reinforcing our identification.

It is said that the sense of self performs an important utilitarian function. It pays our taxes, makes sure we get to our job on time, buys the groceries, plans our holidays etc. However, could we function without needing to use the word I to define who we are. As discussed, I is just an arbitrary term that is superimposed upon the minds meaning making and self-referential judgment of a stimulus. Can we just be this humanness that we inhabit? This human body and the capacity of our mind to process information and be conscious without being identified as I, the one that is taking ownership for our happiness and suffering.

To some extent we omit the word I in our speech and we are still understood.

Initially one can use a strategy where there is a conscious naming of the present moment experience without saying I. It can be helpful to describe what is being felt or thought in response to the action that has happened. It is not that there is no emotion or thinking present. It is that there is no sense of self to own it. One is just witnessing the experience.

For example one would say: “Worried about losing the keys. Angry with John (my son). Arguing with Joan (my partner). Forgetting to pay the phone bill. Enjoying the holiday. Scared of losing the job. Feeling guilt about being dishonest. Experiencing pride about winning the contest.”

Then in response to what one is aware of can one formulate an internal plan or external verbal response again without using the word I? There is a naming of the action in response to the stimulus. For example, internally one might say: “Need to find the keys. Speak to John. Pay the phone bill. Buy the groceries. Explain the situation to the boss.”

In terms of speech one might say: “Apologies for acting rudely. Action will be taken about the problem. Take care. Love you. Going to the food store. Sorry about being rude. Need some time to figure this out.”

Initially when you do this it requires some mental gymnastics as we are so used to using the word I. This is a good thing to have to really think about one’s response and make the effort for not using the word I that linguistically supports non-identification.

Use of the third person can be helpful to avoid using the word I. It is strange to talk about oneself from the third person perspective. One would preface the comments with your name. For example: “Philip is angry. Philips needs to apologize.” There is a designation of who is responsible for what is happening but it feels more objective and distant.

Avoiding the use of I forces one to remember to search for what is not self to meet the moment.

Can you speak as not-self

by Dr. Phil Blustein
June 7, 2024

SEE WHAT YOU LOOK FOR

One is trying to create a change in how we are in relationship with experience. A shift from the automatic self-referential judgment to a non-self-referential discernment. Creating a preprogrammed response based on appreciating what is magical about the moment, not what it means about me can offer a strategy to enact this. It is possible to change how we react and recondition our conditioning! This can be done through intentional awareness followed by instantaneous naming and then a prompted inquiry that one can initiate before our minds sabotage our attempts to consciously respond. Normally we are not aware of what we are aware of. We may be sad, angry, looking at a flower, hearing a bird or walking on the ground but not know this. One initially needs to develop vigilance. To be actively present and on guard with a prepared and searching mind looking for what will arise in our consciousness in the next moment rather than be surprised by self-criticism that will inevitably arise. There needs to be an intentional focus of anticipation to be able to consciously be attuned to what one is aware of. One is consciously looking to see.

Naming

Initially on contact with an internal or external stimulus you instantly name what is present and perhaps what is happening as a way of anchoring yourself into the experience. Naming one’s experience is a recognized practice in mindfulness but this is usually performed AFTER one’s mind has judged the experience. I am suggesting a practice at the POINT OF CONTACT rather than after the mind’s interpretation of what is present. It is as simple as saying: “Sun, flower, music, man walking, dog running, child singing.” Importantly one does not use the word “I” as a way out of identifying with the sense of self. Be prepared to instantly respond rather than react to what is present. Try and practice this as you engage with the world.

What do we do after the naming?

Inquiry

PEOPLE

We tend to be very triggered by other people. It is a natural and probable biologic response as a way of gauging where we are in relationship with other to determine our safety. When you see another person you instantly name what is present ie. man walking, woman singing etc.

This is followed by one of the following phrases.

What is your gift?

What is your story?

How are we similar?

How are we interconnected?

How are we interdependent?

Ultimately choose the phrase or phrases that resonates most deeply with you.

We want to be reminded of how connected and similar we are rather than how the other person triggers one of our unmet psychological needs that causes us suffering. We are all human and live this magical and mystical experience. We all have a unique gift or passion that calls to live through us. We are all interconnected and dependent on other. We need to be reminded to bring curiosity, connection, appreciation and delight with other rather than judgment and separation. We are also all similar from the perspective that we have our personal narrative that determines how we function in this world. We are all wounded to some degree.

SENSATIONS

The beauty of life is seeing how “AWE FULL” it is

We see a beautiful rainbow, mountains, sky, flowers etc. and the next time we see it, it has lost its impact. As humans we quickly habituate to what we experience. This may reflect a primitive biologic need for survival. If we become too engrossed in what we are experiencing we are no longer vigilant to a potential threat. We also make the assumption that it is the same and we know what it is. We become bored. “Nothing new here!” Unfortunately, we miss out on a lot. For some individuals who have a life threatening illness with a shortened life span they may experience an appreciation and joy for every moment that they never had before. What is different? The way they view and are present for the moment! Normally we are not even aware of the external sensations that we see, hear, taste, touch and smell. And if we are aware we don’t stop to savor it but quickly move on to then next sensation or quickly judge it in terms of how it will impact me.Normally value is not inherent to what we experience but what we superimpose upon it. It is possible to shift this perspective.

First we need to be aware of what is present. Conventionally we are not present to what we are experiencing. We multitask, always looking for the next sensory “hit.” We need to slow down. Focus on what we are experiencing. Be aware of what we are aware of. When we have the capacity to have a more continual awareness of what we are doing in the present moment, this helps to shut down the mental interpretation, amplification and rumination. We short circuit the default mode network of selfing. We have all experienced the awe of a majestic moment that seems greater than our human condition. This occurs when we focus our attention on the sensation and suspend our judgment of it. We begin to appreciate its uniqueness and what it has to offer.

After the sensation is named ie. seeing a rainbow, smelling perfume, touching the ground, hearing a song, tasting ice cream can one instantly pose the question:

What is the Gift of This Moment

This question helps to focus our attention on what is Awe Full in the moment. We come to each moment with an already established history and expectation about it. We need to change the lens in which we see experience so that we look without bias in order to see what is really there rather than see what we are already looking for. We see what we expect to find.

Do We Look to See
or See What We Look For

We need to stop looking for the perfect moment but be open to what is as perfect as it can be in the moment. We need to suspend our judgment and begin to appreciate the uniqueness and magic of what is present. This is not about searching for an answer to the question, but simply allowing one to be touched by what is present. Nothing is the same. Can we see the beauty manifesting in all that we experience? Can we see the interconnectedness of existence reflected in what we encounter? Can this be a reminder to have gratitude for one’s capacity to be able to be aware? Can we rejoice in being reminded of the fact that we are alive in this human existence moment to moment? Can we delight in the discovery of what is being revealed to us?

We need to train ourselves so that we have ANTICIPATORY PREPAREDNESS to pose these questions as soon as we are engaged with any experience before our autonomous subconscious self-referential judging mind intervenes.

Intentional Awareness Exercise

One can intentionally practice to bring anticipatory mindfulness to the present moment. Close your eyes for a few seconds. And then open them up. Scan your environment with the specific intent to be aware and then respond from a place of looking for what is the gift in the moment. Close your eyes and just listen. Again, bring your awareness to what is heard and then instantly and intentionally be open to what is special about what is heard. This can be performed before you smell or eat your food or are in contact with a physical sensation. One can choose a specific sensation and deliberately bring awareness to what is revealed.

Approach sensations in the moment with intentional awareness in mind. Before you encounter them be prepared to respond rather than subconsciously react.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
May 16, 2024

Let us explore some strategies that anticipate the use of mindfulness. Do you find that when you come into contact with an internal or external stimulus that there is an instantaneous reaction that you did not consciously think about? You saw someone in the street and instantly there is a judgment that they are too fat or thin, stylish or unfashionable, smart or dumb. When you talk to a friend and they mention their health, holidays, job, car, family is there an instantaneous comparison of who you are relative to them? Better or worse. Superior or inferior? When you eat your food, walk down the street, be in nature, spend time with family or a friend do you immediately skip being with what is present and jump to your relationship with the experience. A relationship of resistance with either approach or avoidance. Self-criticism and judgment!

In all of our encounters are you ever able to be with what actually is rather than further meaning making and selfing? No time to enjoy and savor what is present. Our minds are conditioned to subconsciously, automatically and autonomously self-referentially judge everything. We become aware only after our minds have determined what this moment means about you and what needs to be done to feel safe, loved and worthy.

Is there a way to break out of this mindless auto-pilot reaction? This lack of control over our relationship with our experience? Can we come to each moment prepared to act mindfully? Can we proactively respond rather than react unconsciously? We need to be prepared for engaging in life that will interrupt the automaticity of what one normally does. There are several approaches that I would like to outline.

Be with what is as it is

Not what I make it to be, need it to be, want it to be, believe it to be!

INTENTIONALITY

Before we speak, act or think there is an intentionality for our actions. We act for a specific reason. Conventionally we are not aware of what we plan to do and why. We are just swept away in the rapid unfolding of our processing mind. This is all a subconscious automatic and autonomous process to meet one’s unmet psychological needs. The truth is that normally the:

Intentionality for Intentionality is NOT Intentional

However, the intentionality can be known if we learn to bring awareness to what our minds and hearts are planning to do BEFORE we act. We need to slow down, pause and specifically look for the intentionality that precedes what we will do in the next moment. We are training ourselves to look forward! As one trains one’s mind to look for the intentionality slowly this will become an automatic and spontaneous action rather than a reflective process. We react instantly to a stimulus but this is followed by a natural pause that may allow for discerning reflection. It is in this pause that we can search for the intentionality. We can understand intentionality from the two perspectives of what one plans to do next and the reason for it.

Before we speak we actually will internally say what we are planning to say out loud in the next instant. We can choose to listen skillfully to become aware of what we plan to say next and the intentionality for our speech. Before we actually move there is a knowing of what we are going to do. We can bring specific awareness to the subsequent intended action of cutting of our food with a knife, standing up, lying down, going to the toilet, walking etc. Before our next thought we can become aware of the internal dialogue going on in our minds that reflects the current energy and inclination that can be predictive of what our next thought will be.

Awareness of intentionality can be supported by asking WAIT at the moment we become aware of what we are aware of.

WAIT

Why am I thinking this?

What am I trying to do?

Why am I talking

One needs to be intentional to look for the intentionality! Awareness of the intentionality of what we plan to do next creates an anticipatory mindfulness. This allows one to be prepared to specifically look for what is intended to happen next and choose how to respond rather than react.

Intentionality Exercise

One can help cultivate this preparatory mindfulness by intentionally choosing a movement, thought or speech and then bringing awareness to the subsequent actualized action. For example, I would think: “I am going to get up. I am going to scratch my nose. I am going to reach for the pen. I am going to say hello or ask a question of my friend who is with me. I am going to create an intentional thought about something.” One will then be prepared to witness and be engaged with the subsequent action. This will help to create a habit of bringing anticipatory mindfulness to the subsequent planned action.

The other option to practice this awareness is to bring an intentional awareness to what your mind wants to do in the next moment. Just wait and observe to see what your mind is going to ask of you. Then you are prepared to respond rather than react.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
May 2, 2024