When we face what we believe is a stressful situation our normal reaction is to deny, minimize or run from what is present. Who wants to get closer to the fire? It seems contradictory but mindfulness asks one to approach and become more intimate with what troubles you. How does this work? If we are always running away from what scares us we never get to truly know what it is. Perhaps our fears are like the Wizard of Oz who was just a frightened old man. We make our fears larger than they are. They are often a misrepresentation of what really is there. If we are able to approach what bothers us we have the possibility of discovering the truth. We create the courage to be present. We can provide reassurance and comfort to our inner woundedness so that it feels supported and not alone.
One way to hold our fear is through our bodies. Our thoughts, emotions and body are intimately connected. What is expressed in one is expressed in the other. When we are anxious it can be very helpful to bring one’s attention to the body and just feel what is being expressed. It is a great way to get out of our judging and ruminating mind. It is important to stay with the sensation until it ends. We need to allow the trapped somatic energy to move through us, be metabolized and released. One needs to trust that our bodies know what to do.
The other way to hold our stress is cognitively. Our minds have a personal characteristic way of criticizing us. It could be: “I am so bad. I am terrible. I keep making mistakes.” If one can just allow the same judgmental phrase to be spontaneously and autonomously repeated it will slowly dissipate and extinguish. Another form of release and letting go.
by Dr. Phil Blustein
October 18, 2024