Conventionally when we talk about ourselves it is from the first person perspective. It is from our personal point of view. We use “I, me, my, mine, we and our.” One can also describe what is happening from the third person perspective. In this scenario one is relinquishing ownership of the story to a witnessing perspective. One uses words such as “He, she, it, they, his, hers them or one’s name.” Using the third person perspective is an effective way to objectify the sense of self and support non-identification. What one is doing is stepping back and describing what is happening to this “person” that appears separate from you.
I lose my keys and am very angry. Conventionally my mind says: “I am so stupid and careless to have lost my keys. This is terrible. What will I do.” Describing it from the third person perspective I would say: “Philip lost his keys and now is feeling worried and upset.”
This initially feels quite strange to talk about yourself like this. Normally when we use someone’s first name we are talking about someone else.
Ethan Kross demonstrated that third person self-talk helped to facilitate self-control. Kross, E. Third-person self-talk facilitates emotion regulation without engaging cognitive control: Converging evidence from ERP and fMRI (2017). Scientific Reports Volume 7, Article number: 4519
It is a very simple effective technique using language to support mindfulness.
by Dr. Phil Blustein
February 20, 2026