Wellness Through Mindfulness

REFRAME IT TO TAME IT

Another way to tamp down the instantaneous autonomous reaction to what one encounters is to reframe it to tame it.

Bring to mind a previous negative thought and the reaction you had and relive it from the place of stability and responsiveness in this moment. For example, I had made plans with a friend to get together and they did not call me back. What quickly unfolded was a judgement that my friend was uncaring and disinterested in me. Perhaps I wasn’t good enough to have this person as my friend. I felt angry and hurt.

The initial thought was just the beginning of the boulder rolling down the hill. It just needed a slight push and then momentum carried it on. This is the way our minds work. What we initially observe morphs quickly into self-referential judgment.

However, in this controlled setting I can approach my mind differently. Initially identify the presenting event just as an OBSERVATION, without any interpretation or meaning making. My friend did not call me.

Then name the subsequent self-referential judgment. Identify the story your mind makes up. My friend did not call me and I feel unlovable.

Finally, inquire what would a skillful response be to the initial observation without it being referenced to your sense of self. Ask yourself: “What needs to be done if it isn’t about me?” I need to call my friend and find out what happened.

What is important to realize is that unless I inquire directly and truly know the facts of what happened my judgment and meaning making is make believe. There can be multiple reasons my friend did not call independent of what it means about me.

One is trying to build a different reflexive response to the normal conditioned functioning of the mind. To create a shift from judgment to observation. To create a shift from judgment to the insight that the reaction is me just feeling not loved as a result of triggering of a historic inner child wounding. The other critical aspect is the recognition that the self is a conditioned created construct. To identify with it will lead to suffering.

To counter the reactivity with responsiveness. To not even create a problem in the first place.

The other approach is to take what has just happened in the last moment in terms of a thought or interaction with someone and immediately replay it in this constructive light before there is a chance for one’s mind to react. These similar self-critical thoughts in response to experiences for whatever reason will predictably play out repetitively throughout the day. Consider that we have approximately 60000 thoughts a day and 90% are repetitive! Our minds are on a constant loop of playing the same story. If your mind has criticized you over something you did today rest assured it will do it again, and again and again.

In the above example, where my friend did not call me, even before my mind has had a chance to create a story and self-judge I play out the scenario of one’s possible probable potential self-referential reaction, then just the observation of my friend’s behaviour and finally the non-self-referential skillful response to what was observed.

As one repeatedly replays proactively or reactively one’s experiences there can be a retraining of the mind so that there is a spontaneous shift from conventional self-referential judgment to a new skillful response.

To summarize the three components are:

* Observation
* Identify the Self-referential judgment
* Explore a Skillful non-self-referential response

by Dr. Phil Blustein
September 20, 2024

BREATH PRACTICE

Focused Breath Meditation

One of the most effective practices that can support anticipatory mindfulness is a Focused Breath Meditation Practice. This meditation practice physiologically influences the function and structure of our brain.

With meditation there is a decrease in the Default Mode Network. This results in less selfing, mind wandering and rumination. It also allows for a greater perspective of experience than the I centered approach.

There is an increase in the Frontal Parietal Network that is responsible for emotional regulation, flexibility and adaptability through greater possibility of shifting between the various brain networks.

Meditation leads to a decrease in function of the amygdala resulting in less fear messaging. The Frontal Parietal Network also inhibits the amygdala.

There is a decrease in age related cortical atrophy.

These structural and functional connectivity changes results in less emotional reactivity, greater resilience or recovery from dysregulation, improved equanimity, greater awareness but less identification and a path to transcendence of self.

A meditation practice is a wonderful support for anticipatory mindfulness as our mind is less likely to create selfing related triggering events. One is also better prepared to responsively meet with greater stability whatever presents itself.

One might experience an immediate feeling of a shift in one’s functioning mind when one meditates. However, the more critical aspect is the enduring changes that can occur when you get off the cushion or chair.

A formal focused breath awareness meditation practice needs to become a practice that is performed as consistently that you can. Ideally this means on a daily basis.

Microdosing of Breathing

The breath is important in supporting the relaxation response of the autonomic nervous system.

One can “microdose breathing” by remembering to intentionally breathe with a prolonged exhalation relative to the inhalation and slow breathing with 4 to 6 breaths a minute as often as you can remember throughout the day.

This form of breathing can be in the background as one performs another activity such as walking, eating, reading, waiting in line, driving etc.

It can also be a standalone practice in the moment when one does not need to actively engage with other or in a task.

These short bursts of controlled breathing are a great way to support a greater predisposition to be in a background state of a stabilized nervous system and a decreased tendency for emotional reactivity.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
September 6, 2024

RESTING IN AWARENESS

Awareness of the present moment has an interesting impact on what is happening. It is called the OBSERVER EFFECT or the HAWTHORNE EFFECT. When an individual knows they are being watched this may change their behavior. In my own experience when I observe my thinking mind this inhibits the subsequent thinking process in response to what is known. I am suggesting a practice that is not about bringing awareness to what is known but awareness of what the mind will potentially do with what is known.

We are walking in nature, seeing a cloud, smelling a flower, tasting a dessert, hearing a bird. Before our mind has created meaning making step back and bring awareness to look for what our minds will potentially create. Does anything arise? If it does arise is the reaction muted? One can also do this with one’s thoughts. If one becomes aware of an internal thought or emotion quickly bring awareness to what will arise in the next moment. Hopefully one’s awareness will inhibit the mind’s autonomous spontaneous meaning making. It is like you are a cat waiting at the hole in the wall for the mouse to appear. Just waiting and observing.

You need to practice, anticipate and prime yourself to instantly step into awareness of what the mind will do with what is known at the contact point. By focusing our mind on the action, this inhibits the subsequent judgment and selfing. Our mind has been given a task that allows for focusing and inhibiting of meaning making.

This can be supported by asking this question on contact with an internal or external sensation:

What Next

What is going to arise next?
We have the capacity to alter what our response will be through ANTICIPATORY MINDFULNESS.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
August 22, 2024

PRESENCE WITHOUT SELF

There is a very dominant use of the pronoun I in Western language. It suggests that this is our identity and agent of our actions. Interestingly in Japan there is little use of the pronoun I. Language in Japan is very context-dependent. If the situation infers that the self is acting then there is no need for the word I. Japan is much more a collective rather than an individualistic society. The group is more important than the self. Hence, less use of the word I. If they can do it, there is no reason why we in the West can do without the I in conversation.

What would it be like for us to avoid using the word I as a supportive strategy to non-attach with the sense of self. Language is very important in reinforcing our identification.

It is said that the sense of self performs an important utilitarian function. It pays our taxes, makes sure we get to our job on time, buys the groceries, plans our holidays etc. However, could we function without needing to use the word I to define who we are. As discussed, I is just an arbitrary term that is superimposed upon the minds meaning making and self-referential judgment of a stimulus. Can we just be this humanness that we inhabit? This human body and the capacity of our mind to process information and be conscious without being identified as I, the one that is taking ownership for our happiness and suffering.

To some extent we omit the word I in our speech and we are still understood.

Initially one can use a strategy where there is a conscious naming of the present moment experience without saying I. It can be helpful to describe what is being felt or thought in response to the action that has happened. It is not that there is no emotion or thinking present. It is that there is no sense of self to own it. One is just witnessing the experience.

For example one would say: “Worried about losing the keys. Angry with John (my son). Arguing with Joan (my partner). Forgetting to pay the phone bill. Enjoying the holiday. Scared of losing the job. Feeling guilt about being dishonest. Experiencing pride about winning the contest.”

Then in response to what one is aware of can one formulate an internal plan or external verbal response again without using the word I? There is a naming of the action in response to the stimulus. For example, internally one might say: “Need to find the keys. Speak to John. Pay the phone bill. Buy the groceries. Explain the situation to the boss.”

In terms of speech one might say: “Apologies for acting rudely. Action will be taken about the problem. Take care. Love you. Going to the food store. Sorry about being rude. Need some time to figure this out.”

Initially when you do this it requires some mental gymnastics as we are so used to using the word I. This is a good thing to have to really think about one’s response and make the effort for not using the word I that linguistically supports non-identification.

Use of the third person can be helpful to avoid using the word I. It is strange to talk about oneself from the third person perspective. One would preface the comments with your name. For example: “Philip is angry. Philips needs to apologize.” There is a designation of who is responsible for what is happening but it feels more objective and distant.

Avoiding the use of I forces one to remember to search for what is not self to meet the moment.

Can you speak as not-self

by Dr. Phil Blustein
June 7, 2024

SEE WHAT YOU LOOK FOR

One is trying to create a change in how we are in relationship with experience. A shift from the automatic self-referential judgment to a non-self-referential discernment. Creating a preprogrammed response based on appreciating what is magical about the moment, not what it means about me can offer a strategy to enact this. It is possible to change how we react and recondition our conditioning! This can be done through intentional awareness followed by instantaneous naming and then a prompted inquiry that one can initiate before our minds sabotage our attempts to consciously respond. Normally we are not aware of what we are aware of. We may be sad, angry, looking at a flower, hearing a bird or walking on the ground but not know this. One initially needs to develop vigilance. To be actively present and on guard with a prepared and searching mind looking for what will arise in our consciousness in the next moment rather than be surprised by self-criticism that will inevitably arise. There needs to be an intentional focus of anticipation to be able to consciously be attuned to what one is aware of. One is consciously looking to see.

Naming

Initially on contact with an internal or external stimulus you instantly name what is present and perhaps what is happening as a way of anchoring yourself into the experience. Naming one’s experience is a recognized practice in mindfulness but this is usually performed AFTER one’s mind has judged the experience. I am suggesting a practice at the POINT OF CONTACT rather than after the mind’s interpretation of what is present. It is as simple as saying: “Sun, flower, music, man walking, dog running, child singing.” Importantly one does not use the word “I” as a way out of identifying with the sense of self. Be prepared to instantly respond rather than react to what is present. Try and practice this as you engage with the world.

What do we do after the naming?

Inquiry

PEOPLE

We tend to be very triggered by other people. It is a natural and probable biologic response as a way of gauging where we are in relationship with other to determine our safety. When you see another person you instantly name what is present ie. man walking, woman singing etc.

This is followed by one of the following phrases.

What is your gift?

What is your story?

How are we similar?

How are we interconnected?

How are we interdependent?

Ultimately choose the phrase or phrases that resonates most deeply with you.

We want to be reminded of how connected and similar we are rather than how the other person triggers one of our unmet psychological needs that causes us suffering. We are all human and live this magical and mystical experience. We all have a unique gift or passion that calls to live through us. We are all interconnected and dependent on other. We need to be reminded to bring curiosity, connection, appreciation and delight with other rather than judgment and separation. We are also all similar from the perspective that we have our personal narrative that determines how we function in this world. We are all wounded to some degree.

SENSATIONS

The beauty of life is seeing how “AWE FULL” it is

We see a beautiful rainbow, mountains, sky, flowers etc. and the next time we see it, it has lost its impact. As humans we quickly habituate to what we experience. This may reflect a primitive biologic need for survival. If we become too engrossed in what we are experiencing we are no longer vigilant to a potential threat. We also make the assumption that it is the same and we know what it is. We become bored. “Nothing new here!” Unfortunately, we miss out on a lot. For some individuals who have a life threatening illness with a shortened life span they may experience an appreciation and joy for every moment that they never had before. What is different? The way they view and are present for the moment! Normally we are not even aware of the external sensations that we see, hear, taste, touch and smell. And if we are aware we don’t stop to savor it but quickly move on to then next sensation or quickly judge it in terms of how it will impact me.Normally value is not inherent to what we experience but what we superimpose upon it. It is possible to shift this perspective.

First we need to be aware of what is present. Conventionally we are not present to what we are experiencing. We multitask, always looking for the next sensory “hit.” We need to slow down. Focus on what we are experiencing. Be aware of what we are aware of. When we have the capacity to have a more continual awareness of what we are doing in the present moment, this helps to shut down the mental interpretation, amplification and rumination. We short circuit the default mode network of selfing. We have all experienced the awe of a majestic moment that seems greater than our human condition. This occurs when we focus our attention on the sensation and suspend our judgment of it. We begin to appreciate its uniqueness and what it has to offer.

After the sensation is named ie. seeing a rainbow, smelling perfume, touching the ground, hearing a song, tasting ice cream can one instantly pose the question:

What is the Gift of This Moment

This question helps to focus our attention on what is Awe Full in the moment. We come to each moment with an already established history and expectation about it. We need to change the lens in which we see experience so that we look without bias in order to see what is really there rather than see what we are already looking for. We see what we expect to find.

Do We Look to See
or See What We Look For

We need to stop looking for the perfect moment but be open to what is as perfect as it can be in the moment. We need to suspend our judgment and begin to appreciate the uniqueness and magic of what is present. This is not about searching for an answer to the question, but simply allowing one to be touched by what is present. Nothing is the same. Can we see the beauty manifesting in all that we experience? Can we see the interconnectedness of existence reflected in what we encounter? Can this be a reminder to have gratitude for one’s capacity to be able to be aware? Can we rejoice in being reminded of the fact that we are alive in this human existence moment to moment? Can we delight in the discovery of what is being revealed to us?

We need to train ourselves so that we have ANTICIPATORY PREPAREDNESS to pose these questions as soon as we are engaged with any experience before our autonomous subconscious self-referential judging mind intervenes.

Intentional Awareness Exercise

One can intentionally practice to bring anticipatory mindfulness to the present moment. Close your eyes for a few seconds. And then open them up. Scan your environment with the specific intent to be aware and then respond from a place of looking for what is the gift in the moment. Close your eyes and just listen. Again, bring your awareness to what is heard and then instantly and intentionally be open to what is special about what is heard. This can be performed before you smell or eat your food or are in contact with a physical sensation. One can choose a specific sensation and deliberately bring awareness to what is revealed.

Approach sensations in the moment with intentional awareness in mind. Before you encounter them be prepared to respond rather than subconsciously react.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
May 16, 2024