*self
We conventionally operate from the perspective of being the sense of self. We believe we are this constant solid and real entity. This is fraught with constant self-judgment and criticism of our actions and thoughts. We believe we are flawed and inadequate and are constantly employing childhood defensive strategies to feel safe, loved and worthy. Our Western society would have us believe that our goal is to try and develop a stronger sense of self so that we can be happy and have less suffering. We are often caught by and pursue societal goals.
*Not-self
With mindful awareness and insight we begin to appreciate that the sense of self is a temporary ephemeral conditioned construct that arises moment to moment. We have a belief system of who our sense of self is and should act. This is significantly influenced by our core woundings that is based on how we felt as children we needed to be in order to feel safe, loved and worthy in relationship with our parents. Every moment is a self-referential judgment of our actions. Has our sense of self acted in a congruent or incongruent way with our belief system. If not then our inner voice is one of self-criticism and judgment. We develop a personal and unique defensive coping and survival strategy as children to exist. With this awareness of the foundation for the sense of self we slowly can be present with our wounding. Mindfulness holds our fear with acceptance and compassion allowing for its progressive deconstruction. There is a slow integration and healing of our woundings. We recognize that a sense of self is being created moment to moment but are able to be in relationship with it without owning it. We progressively recognize that there is a self that has been constructed but it is not who we are. We are able to dis-identify with the sense of self.
*No self
As we transcend the conditioned nature of self we spontaneously enter into a space of mindful presence. As there is no sense of self to protect we are able to experience the interconnectedness and interdependence of all existence. We rest in a mindful awareness that manifests innate compassion and wisdom.
by Dr. Phil Blustein
October 3, 2025