When we get upset what do we do with it? Our normal reaction is to deny or run away from it. We build walls to protect ourselves from our pain. Experiential avoidance does not solve the problem. If anything, it may aggravate and prolong the issue as we never address what is happening. Mindfulness asks us to paradoxically approach our suffering. We need to become intimate with what we are experiencing with interest and curiosity. There can be no resistance but only openness. The only issue with engaging with our present moment experience is that we typically identify with our sense of self and own the pain and suffering of our identity. It is not that we create a sense of self that suffers, but we attach to it! We need to know what is happening but from the perspective of non-attachment with our sense of self. We need to rest in the awareness of mindfulness. It is a paradoxical relationship as we feel our experience but don’t own it. The essence of mindfulness is engaged non-attachment with self.
by Dr. Phil Blustein