Wellness Through Mindfulness

When we face what we believe is a stressful situation our normal reaction is to deny, minimize or run from what is present. Who wants to get closer to the fire? It seems contradictory but mindfulness asks one to approach and become more intimate with what troubles you. How does this work? If we are always running away from what scares us we never get to truly know what it is. Perhaps our fears are like the Wizard of Oz who was just a frightened old man. We make our fears larger than they are. They are often a misrepresentation of what really is there. If we are able to approach what bothers us we have the possibility of discovering the truth. We create the courage to be present. We can provide reassurance and comfort to our inner woundedness so that it feels supported and not alone.

One way to hold our fear is through our bodies. Our thoughts, emotions and body are intimately connected. What is expressed in one is expressed in the other. When we are anxious it can be very helpful to bring one’s attention to the body and just feel what is being expressed. It is a great way to get out of our judging and ruminating mind. It is important to stay with the sensation until it ends. We need to allow the trapped somatic energy to move through us, be metabolized and released. One needs to trust that our bodies know what to do.

The other way to hold our stress is cognitively. Our minds have a personal characteristic way of criticizing us. It could be: “I am so bad. I am terrible. I keep making mistakes.” If one can just allow the same judgmental phrase to be spontaneously and autonomously repeated it will slowly dissipate and extinguish. Another form of release and letting go.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
October 18, 2024

Playing pickleball is a great way to understand the conventional way we function and the path to mindfulness. When you play pickleball there are hard and unexpected shots coming at you. There is a lot fear of being hit and hurt. One is impulsive and reactive. One is in a defensive position. The ball seems to be moving so fast. One can’t keep one’s eye on what is happening, the ball. One is reaching out to hit the ball before it has even arrived. One feels contracted and tight and this is reflected in one’s shots. The goal initially is to just get the ball over the net as long as it stays in. There is no plan or clarity for strategic play.

As one’s play improves there is a shift in the game. One becomes more relaxed and responsive. One waits for the ball to come to you before striking. The game seems to slow down and there is a greater opportunity to be present with ease and clarity in knowing how one is going to consciously and strategically respond.

This progression is just like how one operates in the world. We initially react subconsciously with a desire to defend ourselves. Often our reactions are impulsive and hurtful. With time as one develops insight and compassion there is a shift. One becomes more relaxed with less impulsivity. One is able to consciously and skillfully respond from a place of openness, acceptance, wisdom and clarity.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
October 3, 2024

REFRAME IT TO TAME IT

Another way to tamp down the instantaneous autonomous reaction to what one encounters is to reframe it to tame it.

Bring to mind a previous negative thought and the reaction you had and relive it from the place of stability and responsiveness in this moment. For example, I had made plans with a friend to get together and they did not call me back. What quickly unfolded was a judgement that my friend was uncaring and disinterested in me. Perhaps I wasn’t good enough to have this person as my friend. I felt angry and hurt.

The initial thought was just the beginning of the boulder rolling down the hill. It just needed a slight push and then momentum carried it on. This is the way our minds work. What we initially observe morphs quickly into self-referential judgment.

However, in this controlled setting I can approach my mind differently. Initially identify the presenting event just as an OBSERVATION, without any interpretation or meaning making. My friend did not call me.

Then name the subsequent self-referential judgment. Identify the story your mind makes up. My friend did not call me and I feel unlovable.

Finally, inquire what would a skillful response be to the initial observation without it being referenced to your sense of self. Ask yourself: “What needs to be done if it isn’t about me?” I need to call my friend and find out what happened.

What is important to realize is that unless I inquire directly and truly know the facts of what happened my judgment and meaning making is make believe. There can be multiple reasons my friend did not call independent of what it means about me.

One is trying to build a different reflexive response to the normal conditioned functioning of the mind. To create a shift from judgment to observation. To create a shift from judgment to the insight that the reaction is me just feeling not loved as a result of triggering of a historic inner child wounding. The other critical aspect is the recognition that the self is a conditioned created construct. To identify with it will lead to suffering.

To counter the reactivity with responsiveness. To not even create a problem in the first place.

The other approach is to take what has just happened in the last moment in terms of a thought or interaction with someone and immediately replay it in this constructive light before there is a chance for one’s mind to react. These similar self-critical thoughts in response to experiences for whatever reason will predictably play out repetitively throughout the day. Consider that we have approximately 60000 thoughts a day and 90% are repetitive! Our minds are on a constant loop of playing the same story. If your mind has criticized you over something you did today rest assured it will do it again, and again and again.

In the above example, where my friend did not call me, even before my mind has had a chance to create a story and self-judge I play out the scenario of one’s possible probable potential self-referential reaction, then just the observation of my friend’s behaviour and finally the non-self-referential skillful response to what was observed.

As one repeatedly replays proactively or reactively one’s experiences there can be a retraining of the mind so that there is a spontaneous shift from conventional self-referential judgment to a new skillful response.

To summarize the three components are:

* Observation
* Identify the Self-referential judgment
* Explore a Skillful non-self-referential response

by Dr. Phil Blustein
September 20, 2024

BREATH PRACTICE

Focused Breath Meditation

One of the most effective practices that can support anticipatory mindfulness is a Focused Breath Meditation Practice. This meditation practice physiologically influences the function and structure of our brain.

With meditation there is a decrease in the Default Mode Network. This results in less selfing, mind wandering and rumination. It also allows for a greater perspective of experience than the I centered approach.

There is an increase in the Frontal Parietal Network that is responsible for emotional regulation, flexibility and adaptability through greater possibility of shifting between the various brain networks.

Meditation leads to a decrease in function of the amygdala resulting in less fear messaging. The Frontal Parietal Network also inhibits the amygdala.

There is a decrease in age related cortical atrophy.

These structural and functional connectivity changes results in less emotional reactivity, greater resilience or recovery from dysregulation, improved equanimity, greater awareness but less identification and a path to transcendence of self.

A meditation practice is a wonderful support for anticipatory mindfulness as our mind is less likely to create selfing related triggering events. One is also better prepared to responsively meet with greater stability whatever presents itself.

One might experience an immediate feeling of a shift in one’s functioning mind when one meditates. However, the more critical aspect is the enduring changes that can occur when you get off the cushion or chair.

A formal focused breath awareness meditation practice needs to become a practice that is performed as consistently that you can. Ideally this means on a daily basis.

Microdosing of Breathing

The breath is important in supporting the relaxation response of the autonomic nervous system.

One can “microdose breathing” by remembering to intentionally breathe with a prolonged exhalation relative to the inhalation and slow breathing with 4 to 6 breaths a minute as often as you can remember throughout the day.

This form of breathing can be in the background as one performs another activity such as walking, eating, reading, waiting in line, driving etc.

It can also be a standalone practice in the moment when one does not need to actively engage with other or in a task.

These short bursts of controlled breathing are a great way to support a greater predisposition to be in a background state of a stabilized nervous system and a decreased tendency for emotional reactivity.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
September 6, 2024

RESTING IN AWARENESS

Awareness of the present moment has an interesting impact on what is happening. It is called the OBSERVER EFFECT or the HAWTHORNE EFFECT. When an individual knows they are being watched this may change their behavior. In my own experience when I observe my thinking mind this inhibits the subsequent thinking process in response to what is known. I am suggesting a practice that is not about bringing awareness to what is known but awareness of what the mind will potentially do with what is known.

We are walking in nature, seeing a cloud, smelling a flower, tasting a dessert, hearing a bird. Before our mind has created meaning making step back and bring awareness to look for what our minds will potentially create. Does anything arise? If it does arise is the reaction muted? One can also do this with one’s thoughts. If one becomes aware of an internal thought or emotion quickly bring awareness to what will arise in the next moment. Hopefully one’s awareness will inhibit the mind’s autonomous spontaneous meaning making. It is like you are a cat waiting at the hole in the wall for the mouse to appear. Just waiting and observing.

You need to practice, anticipate and prime yourself to instantly step into awareness of what the mind will do with what is known at the contact point. By focusing our mind on the action, this inhibits the subsequent judgment and selfing. Our mind has been given a task that allows for focusing and inhibiting of meaning making.

This can be supported by asking this question on contact with an internal or external sensation:

What Next

What is going to arise next?
We have the capacity to alter what our response will be through ANTICIPATORY MINDFULNESS.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
August 22, 2024