Wellness Through Mindfulness

The contemporary definition of mindfulness is: Awareness of the present moment, on purpose, in a particular way, non-judgmentally.

The word non-judgmental that is a dominant part of the definition refers to a state. This is the way I will be with experience. I believe mindfulness is a MULTIFACETED PROCESS of how one is present with what is known and responds to it.

The overarching map of mindfulness involves three components.

* AWARENESS: Awareness of what is present.
* RELATIONSHIP: How to develop a wholesome relationship with the present moment by directly experiencing what is known without resistance through insight into selfing.
* ACTION: How to act skillfully through non-identification with the sense of self.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
January 16, 2025

Microdosing of the breath can be an effective tool to increase awareness and decrease background mental and somatic hyperarousal, mind wandering and reactivity to what is known.

As often as you can, bring intentional awareness to the breath and follow it as long and sustained as you can. The breath is important in supporting the relaxation response of the autonomic nervous system.

One can “microdose breathing” by remembering to intentionally breathe with a prolonged exhalation relative to the inhalation and slow breathing with 4 to 6 breaths a minute as often as you can remember throughout the day.

This form of breathing can be in the background as one performs another activity such as walking, eating, reading, waiting in line, driving etc. It can also be a standalone practice in the moment when one does not need to actively engage with other or in a task.

One can use cues such as post-it-notes, apps or timers on your phone or physical links such as before you eat, walk, go to the bathroom, answer your phone or before posting an email to remind oneself to bring awareness to the breath.

These short bursts of controlled breathing are a great way to support a greater predisposition to be in a resting state of a stabilized nervous system and a decreased tendency for emotional and cognitive hyperarousal and reactivity.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
January 3, 2025

I strive for the meaning of life and live with this existential need to know. I believe it may reflect relationships, play and a sense of purpose. But do these elements just mean having a meaningful life?

Could it be experiencing the non-self-referential conditioned nature of existence?

Why do I need to know? If I have an answer I have a feeling that this will bring some certainty to my existence. Knowing will give me some comfort as there is safety. I have a path. I know what I need to do. I know what to expect. I believe I know who I am.

However, what if there is no answer to this big question. Maybe this is something that I can’t comprehend at this moment. I have not evolved enough. It is bigger than I can understand.

Maybe the path is to keep asking the questions and allow discoveries to reveal themselves rather than thinking I can think my way to the answer.

Perhaps it is not having to cognitively know what each moment is about but experientiality living it.

Perhaps I need patience to allow experience to be the way it is meant to be rather than the way I need it to be.

Perhaps it is just being open to whatever arises.

Perhaps it is recognizing that we don’t have control over what happens.

Perhaps the only thing I can be sure of is the certainty of uncertainty.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
December 6, 2024

I said something to a friend that I felt was inappropriate. I instantly began to criticize and judge myself. To what end. The reality is what has happened, has happened. It cannot be changed. It is what it is.

The truth is that most of what happens occurs from a subconscious automatic and autonomous drive by our minds to keep our inner child safe, loved and worthy. We may interpret what we did as not being appropriate but from a PERSONAL perspective all our thoughts, speech and actions have a skillful intention. For the most part we are not aware of what we are going to do before we do it! Free will is a myth. Conventionally we can only be aware of what has happened after it has happened. Unless we develop mindfulness there is no awareness of the intentionality of our actions before we act.

In the end, all one can do is be responsible for what one does with what one knows. If I have acted inappropriately with my friend and am aware of it only then can I take ownership and act accordingly. Also, what can I learn from what has happened that will help me going forward? I need to reflect on the intentionality of my speech before I speak.

This is not a free get out of jail card. It is simply explaining the underlying process for our speech and actions. Hopefully it will allow one to let go of self-blame and judgment and do what is just skillfully needed.

Don’t beat yourself up for what you did but just take responsibility for how you will skillfully respond to what has happened! Be kind to yourself. The essence of mindfulness is not so much what is present but how are you in relationship with it.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
November 22, 2024

I made a comment the other day to a friend and I felt it was inappropriate. My mind was upset and immediately judged me at the time. It said: “How could I have said that? It was so mean. I am such a bad friend. This is terrible. I am terrible!” In the moment all I was aware of was the self-criticism and not what actually happened. The next day all of a sudden my mind is saying: “This is terrible. How could I have done that.” My mind was reliving the previous experience. However, there was no context for what my mind was saying. There was no recollection of my previous initial conversation with my friend, just the judgment of what I had done.

This is the common way in which we operate. We forget what the initiating event was that led to the judgment. We are predominantly aware of the resistance, approach or avoidance, to the judgment of what has happened rather than what incited the reaction.

Is it possible to bring awareness to what started the process and is this of value? Yes. We have the capacity to develop interest, curiosity and resolve to specifically look for what was the starting experience. One can train the mind to slow down, search and identify the initial stimulus to the judgment. With practice and over time this starts to begin a more automatic response.

At the point one becomes aware of the self-criticism immediately stop and look to see if one can identify what the mind was initially thinking about that triggered the reaction. In identifying the original stimulus and seeing what we create with it we are able to clearly see the process of how we create our reality and sense of self. This helps support non-identification.

It is much easier to be in relationship with the original experience that is neutral in itself prior to the meaning making and selfing. Stepping back to the contact point creates a pause, inhibits mental proliferation and allows a space for intentional focusing on the underlying belief system of our sense of self, that is the basis for self-referential judgment and selfing.

As we know our mind is a meaning making machine. If we can identify the original event before meaning making we have the capacity to rest in that moment and change our reaction to it!

It is important to return to the original point of contact. It is important to look backwards in order to move forwards.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
November 8, 2024