Wellness Through Mindfulness

The contemporary definition of mindfulness that is widely accepted is outlined by Jon Kabat-Zinn as: “Awareness of the present moment on purpose, in a particular way and non-judgmentally.” We can all recognize that we need to be aware of what is happening in order to be able to do something about it. However, is being non-judgmental with our experience the end point of mindfulness, or is there more to it?

Consider the example of losing one’s keys. There is the initial judgment of the act itself of losing the keys. One might say: “This is a problem. Where did I last remember having them? Where do I need to look? If the keys can’t be found what needs to be done?” An evaluation of a situation but no one to take the blame for the loss. But what do we do? We create a sense of self that is responsible for what has happened and needs to be punished. We now state: “I am so bad. I am so careless. How could I have done this. I am terrible.” There is no separation between the judgment of the action and the self.

We self-reference every experience against our personal belief system of who we believe our sense of self is and should behave. The belief system is based on unmet psychological needs and inner child wounding.

It is important to recognize that judging is not the problem in mindfulness. It is SELF-REFERENTIAL JUDGMENT leading to a creation of a sense of self that is the problem. There can be discernment of the present moment based on whether the moment is congruent with the intentionality of kindness, compassion, respect, non-harming and generosity, not unmet personal needs.

When we ask one to be non-judgmental, implicit with this is a sense of restraint. Mindfulness is not about holding back but engaging with what is present and experiencing it fully in a somatic sense.

When we ask one to be non-judgmental this implies that what we consider needs to be judged to be real and true or there would be no need not to judge. The truth of our reality and self is that it is a temporary ephemeral conditioned construct. There is no need to judge or not judge an illusion.

Mindfulness is how one is in relationship with the sense of self. Can we follow the middle way? There is no need to grab on or push away. No need to judge or not judge. Can we simply be with what is as it is. Nothing to do. It is about BEING with what is, not DOING with what is.

The essence of mindfulness is not about being non-judgmental but non-identification and ultimately no creation of the sense of self. If there was no interpretation of each moment referenced against the belief system of who we believe we are, there would be no suffering!

by Dr. Phil Blustein

JUST INSTRUCTIVE

I was supposed to call someone and I forgot. When I remember later I criticize myself. “How disrespectful can I be. I treated my friend so bad. I am terrible. I am not a good friend. I am mean!”

Every moment we are constantly determining whether our action is good or bad? Right or wrong? Is this something that I want or don’t? We are always placing value on what we experience. We interpret the value of our actions as an index of our self-worth. What would life be like if we didn’t have to judge it? If we could see experience with an eye of equanimity. The segue to doing this is to not focus on the content of what is experienced but what it represents!

In the above example I judge myself. On the surface level it is about being a disrespectful adult. However, the reality is that since my childhood I have always had a need to be perfect in order to feel safe, loved and worthy. Failure in calling my friend triggered the memory of my inner child wounding. The core reason for the criticism is the belief that the action of the sense of self is at fault. Instead of judging whether our sense of self has acted in a way that is congruent or incongruent with who we believe we are, can we bring awareness and discernment into this process of selfing? Can we recognize that the intentionality of all experience is skillful as it is an attempt to keep one safe, loved and worthy.

Can we examine each moment to see what is being revealed about the foundation for our sense of self? It is neither positive or negative, just informative by pointing to our truth and what we can learn.

In each moment ask yourself:

“What can I learn about myself from this moment?“

by Dr. Phil Blustein

The contemporary definition of mindfulness as outlined by Jon Kabat-Zinn is: “Awareness of the present moment on purpose, in a particular way and non-judgmentally.” Is being non-judgmental with our experience the end point of mindfulness, or is there more to it? Originally from historic Theravada Buddhism one of the main goals of mindfulness was to act skillfully. This is one of the criticisms of our current understanding of mindfulness, that there is no comment on skillful or ethical behavior.

Apparently JKZ deliberately did not include acting skillfully in the definition. He stated: “Clinical psychologists want very linear and easy to understand definitions. One can’t understand mindfulness with your thinking mind. It is like a koan.” A koan is a puzzle that Zen Buddhists use in their practice to help reveal greater insights through non-conceptual intuition. That may be true, but most people who practice mindfulness are not Zen practitioners.

Ethical behavior in contemporary mindfulness of MBSR is said to be implicit, not explicit. Jon Kabat-Zinn commented on the ethics of MBSR and stated:

The ethical foundation of the practice is to be more implicit than explicit, and that it may be best expressed, supported, and furthered by how we, the MBSR instructor and the entire staff of the clinic, embody it in our own lives and in how we relate to the patients, the doctors, the hospital staff, everybody, and of course, how we relate to our own interior experience.

Contemporary Buddhism 2011, 12:1 Page 295 Some reflections on the origins of MBSR, skillful means, and the trouble with maps.
Jon Kabat-Zinn

He felt that the MBSR staff should model ethical behavior that will influence what the participants do. This is an unrealistic expectation that there will be uniformity in the instructors and their behaviour, intent and teaching style. Also people learn mindfulness from reading and apps without taking an MBSR course or having a teacher.

There also appears to be a faith in the action of the individual to act ethically.

First, it is inevitably the personal responsibility of each person engaging in this work to attend with care and intentionality to how we are actually living our lives, both personally and professionally, in terms of ethical behaviour. An awareness of one’s conduct and the quality of one’s relationships, inwardly and outwardly, in terms of their potential to cause harm, are intrinsic elements of the cultivation of mindfulness as I am describing it here.

Contemporary Buddhism 2011, 12:1 Page 294 Some reflections on the origins of MBSR, skillful means, and the trouble with maps.
Jon Kabat-Zinn

This also seems to be an unrealistic assumption and expectation. One could argue that for most people, one’s personal intent in taking Mindfulness is self-centered motivation in order to feel better personally. To relieve one’s stress. Not ethical behavior.

There needs to be explicit goals set out for what one is doing in order to guide the participants rather than relying on their personal responsibility and capacity to operate from ethics, and the guidance of the MBSR instructors through modeling of behavior.

People want a clear definition and roadmap that outlines what mindfulness is and what is its purpose. According to the definition it seems that the end point is to be non-judgmental. This explains how one is in relationship with the present moment but not what do you do next. The ultimate goal of mindfulness is not to be non-judgmental but to act skillfully in an ethical and non-harming manner. The contemporary definition of mindfulness is misleading!

It is imperative that the goal of ethical behavior as an end point be stated in the definition of mindfulness to help clearly guide the actions of the participants.

by Dr. Phil Blustein

Who do you believe you are? What relatively fixed beliefs do you hold about your sense of self? Do you see yourself as quiet, invisible, agreeable, submissive, the good boy or girl, guilty, shameful, powerful or demanding? We are a self-fulfilling prophecy of our personal narrative and constantly act to meet the expectations we hold of our personal image. Every moment the actions of our sense of self are interpreted if they are congruent or incongruent with how we believe we should be in this world. We suffer as we believe we are not perfect. We are constantly trying to meet the unmet needs of our conditioned history. We are our story.

Is this the only way we can be in this world? With repeated reflective practice and discernment there is the capacity to move beyond the conditioned construct of the sense of self and rest in one’s authentic self. This is a space of unification and wholeness. An integration of inner child wounding to rest in a sense of self that acts through non-self-referential discernment rather than self-referential judgment. Is the present moment an expression of ethics, morality, compassion, wisdom and non-harming?

To also rest in Presence or Self that exists beyond the conditionality of self. This embodies an innate compassion, wisdom, joy and interconnectedness. A space that allows for the expression of one’s unique gift calling to live through you. Can one just rest in this essence? Nothing to do. Just be!

We can suffer in BEING ME or rest in the contentment of ME BEING.

by Dr. Phil Blustein

“Remember Jerry it’s not a lie if you believe it“

The truth of self is that it feels real but it is not true.

by Dr. Phil Blustein