Mindful Musing

2600 years ago the Buddha said: “Anything you attach to as I, me or mine leads to suffering.” He was able to understand how we create our pain. Can you find your self? Where is it located? Does it have boundaries, a shape, a color, substance? Our modern day MRI brain scanners have not been able to identify the self. Why. Because it is not an enduring structure. It is created moment to moment as a subconscious autonomous automatic interpretation of perceived causes and conditions referenced against our personal arbitrary belief system. It is a temporary defensive creation that helps deal with our triggered woundings to feel safe, loved and worthy. When we identify with the self, we take on the associated suffering that exists with it. When we can recognize that there is a conventional self but we are not this conditioned self we can find the way to freedom. It is just a tool to navigate our world.

By Dr. Philip Blustein

This comment by James Baldwin is a perfect statement of how we need to be in relationship with the present moment. An unpleasant experience arises. Our mind starts to criticize us and we feel anxious and judged. What is your typical response? Do you turn towards these negative feelings or try and deny and run away from what is happening? Most of us don’t want to face what makes us feel uncomfortable. Is this the most effective way to deal with the situation? Unlikely. If we try and push away or put up a wall to what bothers us it will still be there to haunt us. We may have pushed it out of our consciousness but it is still lurking ready to be triggered again. It will never become resolved and only continue to grow as we keep adding more to the pile of our emotional discontent. Mindfulness asks us to face and then engage our experience. We can do this experientially or cognitively. Turning your attention to your body and allowing yourself to experience the sensations without resistance can allow the trauma held in our bodies to start moving through us. One can also bring curiosity to the moment and inquire what is calling to be heard. What is this moment trying to inform you about? Only by facing what bothers you and holding it with compassion and wisdom can you develop the capacity to integrate the underlying psychological woundings that limit your ability to have freedom. 

by Dr. Phil Blustein

Smell a flower. Eat chocolate. See clouds in the sky. Hear the chirping of a bird. Touch someone you love. Done it before. Nothing new. What’s next. It takes quite the exceptional experience for us to even recognize it. The biggest problem is that we are just not present to what we experience. The other issue is that familiarity breeds indifference. We look at life through the lens of knowing what is going to be experienced as we have had the experience before. There needs to be a shift in order to allow awe in each moment. We need to suspend expectation and be open to what is new in each moment. We need to be with life without knowing what to expect in order to experience what is not known. Awe in the moment is revealed to us. It is not something we look to find.

Dr. Philip Blustein

Do you have a mind that constantly criticizes you for not getting it right? You have a belief that there is a certain way things should be and the way you should be. We have these unreasonable expectations that we will act perfectly according to this identity we hold ourselves to be. The problem is that this is impossible. The one thing we can be perfect at is being human. “You can’t do human wrong.” Being human means that you are not perfect! You will judge yourself constantly for not getting it right. You will not live up to your expectations. Give yourself permission to this reality. Permission to be as you are not as you expect yourself to be. It is when we try and be more than human that we run into trouble. We need to be kind and give ourselves permission to be perfectly human, not humanly perfect

 by Dr. Phil Blustein

How do we see each moment? Why is it that someone might feel threatened or sad while someone else might feel calm and assured under similar circumstances? We all have our unique stories about who we believe we are. They were initially formed when we were young and in relationship with our caregivers. This has been subsequently shaped by our society. Everything that we are in contact with is referenced against our belief system that defines our identity. Does it agree or not? What we need to be able to do is to bring insight into how we see our experience through the Isight of who we believe we are. It is with this clarity that we can understand the true nature of reality and allow for non-attachment with our sense of self and rest in mindful awareness.

 by Dr. Phil Blustein