Carl Jung

Carl Jung

I am not what has happened to me
But what I choose to become


Unfortunately, the truth of human existence is:
I am what was has happened to me
I am destined to be what was chosen for me to become

We live the narrative of our maladaptive childhood attachments, societal expectations and subsequent traumas. Moment to moment we are living our life trying to compensate for underlying hidden unmet psychological needs that motivate us to act. If we don’t bring awareness and insight to the truth of reality and self we will be doomed to live an existence “walled in alive”. We will live our life limited by our unique personal narrative to try and keep us safe, loved and worthy.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
Oct. 20, 2023

Which Concentration Meditation is Best for You

Which Concentration Meditation is Best for You

Focused Awareness or Open Monitoring

Concentration meditation is based on two types of awareness. Focused awareness or Open Monitoring. In Focused Awareness one chooses a specific object to focus one’s attention on such as the breath, body, mantra, sound or visualization. Its value is that as one is focused on one object this tends to shut down the thinking mind and the Default Mode Network that leads to selfing. It also helps develop the capacity to be aware that is an essential part of mindfulness. This meditation practice can lead to a unified and concentrated mind that makes it easier to access insight or vipassana meditation.

The other form of concentration meditation is Open Monitoring. In this awareness practice there is no fixed object. One brings awareness to whatever one is conscious of. As we witness the constant changing flow of experience it illustrates the important teaching of impermanence. Conventionally our minds are so busy. We are constantly multi-tasking and thinking what we need to do next. The value of Open Monitoring Meditation is we are specifically creating the opportunity to develop awareness with how our thinking minds normally works, as opposed to focusing on a single object.

The problem with focused awareness is it can lead to drowsiness. If this is happening one could switch to the more energizing practice of open monitoring. The problem with open monitoring is that one can become overwhelmed with the multiplicity of stimuli. If one is becoming too scattered a focused awareness practice may help settle your mind down.

Initially it may be more advantageous to choose a focused awareness practice as one’s initial meditation. When you feel the mind has become stable this may allow one to more effectively practice open monitoring. One could do both types of practice in one setting or stay with one specific practice for as long as it works for you.

The key to this practice is to experiment and find what works best for you.

by Dr. Phil Blustein
Oct. 5, 2023

What is the Essence of Mindfulness

What is the Essence of Mindfulness

The contemporary definition of mindfulness that is widely accepted is outlined by Jon Kabat-Zinn as: “Awareness of the present moment on purpose, in a particular way and non-judgmentally.” We can all recognize that we need to be aware of what is happening in order to be able to do something about it. However, is being non-judgmental with our experience the end point of mindfulness, or is there more to it?

Consider the example of losing one’s keys. There is the initial judgment of the act itself of losing the keys. One might say: “This is a problem. Where did I last remember having them? Where do I need to look? If the keys can’t be found what needs to be done?” An evaluation of a situation but no one to take the blame for the loss. But what do we do? We create a sense of self that is responsible for what has happened and needs to be punished. We now state: “I am so bad. I am so careless. How could I have done this. I am terrible.” There is no separation between the judgment of the action and the self.

We self-reference every experience against our personal belief system of who we believe our sense of self is and should behave. The belief system is based on unmet psychological needs and inner child wounding.

It is important to recognize that judging is not the problem in mindfulness. It is SELF-REFERENTIAL JUDGMENT leading to a creation of a sense of self that is the problem. There can be discernment of the present moment based on whether the moment is congruent with the intentionality of kindness, compassion, respect, non-harming and generosity, not unmet personal needs.

When we ask one to be non-judgmental, implicit with this is a sense of restraint. Mindfulness is not about holding back but engaging with what is present and experiencing it fully in a somatic sense.

When we ask one to be non-judgmental this implies that what we consider needs to be judged to be real and true or there would be no need not to judge. The truth of our reality and self is that it is a temporary ephemeral conditioned construct. There is no need to judge or not judge an illusion.

Mindfulness is how one is in relationship with the sense of self. Can we follow the middle way? There is no need to grab on or push away. No need to judge or not judge. Can we simply be with what is as it is. Nothing to do. It is about BEING with what is, not DOING with what is.

The essence of mindfulness is not about being non-judgmental but non-identification and ultimately no creation of the sense of self. If there was no interpretation of each moment referenced against the belief system of who we believe we are, there would be no suffering!

by Dr. Phil Blustein
Sept. 7, 2023

Every Experience is Neither Constructive or Destructive

Every Experience is Neither Constructive or Destructive

JUST INSTRUCTIVE

I was supposed to call someone and I forgot. When I remember later I criticize myself. “How disrespectful can I be. I treated my friend so bad. I am terrible. I am not a good friend. I am mean!”

Every moment we are constantly determining whether our action is good or bad? Right or wrong? Is this something that I want or don’t? We are always placing value on what we experience. We interpret the value of our actions as an index of our self-worth. What would life be like if we didn’t have to judge it? If we could see experience with an eye of equanimity. The segue to doing this is to not focus on the content of what is experienced but what it represents!

In the above example I judge myself. On the surface level it is about being a disrespectful adult. However, the reality is that since my childhood I have always had a need to be perfect in order to feel safe, loved and worthy. Failure in calling my friend triggered the memory of my inner child wounding. The core reason for the criticism is the belief that the action of the sense of self is at fault. Instead of judging whether our sense of self has acted in a way that is congruent or incongruent with who we believe we are, can we bring awareness and discernment into this process of selfing? Can we recognize that the intentionality of all experience is skillful as it is an attempt to keep one safe, loved and worthy.

Can we examine each moment to see what is being revealed about the foundation for our sense of self? It is neither positive or negative, just informative by pointing to our truth and what we can learn.

In each moment ask yourself:

What can I learn about myself from this moment?


by Dr. Phil Blustein
June 2, 2023