Do you live your life from the place that says: “If only I had this I would be happy!” And then what happens when you get it.
The new car develops engine trouble. The wonderful new job has a terrible boss. The blissful marriage ends in divorce. The sweet kids become drug addicts. Whenever you rely on something external to yourself to provide your happiness you will never be happy. There is no way to be able to control what exists outside of you. We have enough trouble controlling what goes on inside of us! We live a life from a position of deficiency that will never result in being happy by trying to fill the hole.. We need to recognize that we are as perfect and complete as we can be in the moment. We need to accept and rejoice in the way we are and what we have now. There needs to be gratitude for the whole picture. We need to look at acquiring things or developing new relationships as changing our wholeness, not completing it.
Benjamin Franklin said: “Most people die at 25 but aren’t buried until their 75.” Are you dead? Not physically, but dead to fulfilling one’s potential of who you are beyond your story of self. Whose life are you living? One that you have chosen or one that has been given to you? What do you believe that you are capable of doing? Do you live your life “Walled in Alive” by your limiting beliefs? Are you aware of what your unique gifts and passions are calling to be lived through you? Or are you dead to this possibility? It requires a lot of commitment, exploration, allowing, practice and courage to be willing to be who you really are. Are you dead already and just waiting to be buried? Start by asking the question: “Who am I? What is meaningful in my life? What is calling to be heard?” Act now, rather than wait until they bury you.
Do you know what your next thought will be? If you were in control would your mind criticize and judge you mercilessly like it does? Our minds are meaning making machines. It compares all experience against our unique belief system about who we believe we are. Does it agree or not? It judges everything and then comes up with a new story of self for the moment. This happens autonomously, automatically and subconsciously. We become aware of what our minds have made up and believe we were the ones who consciously thought it. In fact, we are just knowing what our minds have already created and take ownership of it. Our minds have a mind of their own. Free will? I am not so sure!
There are only two ways to be free of pain and suffering. Death and coma. And that is not what mindfulness is about. Mindfulness is not about a silent and peaceful mind. Loss of a loved one, your job, a relationship or your health is difficult. There will be sadness, grief, anger and pain. Mindfulness will not change that. But what it can do is to allow you to hold your pain without fighting and resistance. One holds the suffering with wisdom and compassion.